i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
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