Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize
