I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
PANTIES FOUND
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