I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
