she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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