My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
