It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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