they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Randomize