PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I am one with the molecules
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize