shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
