Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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