yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Randomize
