Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
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