It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
