There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
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