Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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