this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
