theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
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