Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
you win again, gameday.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
