So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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