I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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