Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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