hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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