is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
whose ass print is on the piano?
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
I know her cup size but not her name....
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
