piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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