I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize