just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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