Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Randomize
