I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
