he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
