so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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