I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I forget how to act sober
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
