I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
