I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
