these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Randomize
