Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Are we still banned from the library?
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
