ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
