I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Randomize
