Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
