You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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