you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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