were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
