First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Randomize