On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
