Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
