dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Apparently you make a good broom.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
well you can't waste a boner
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize