Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Randomize
