I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
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