The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Randomize
