Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I need a burrito and a hug.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Randomize
