I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
