We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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