I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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