operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
