Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
