respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
