You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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