She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
