Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
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