try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Randomize
