my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
