I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
I don't think brook has ever known best
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Randomize