So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Randomize
