You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize