Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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