Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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