garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
