its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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