I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
