I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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