thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
