Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize
