Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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