why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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