I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
